Six, one, two, three, four, six,
Coyote Flats.
I'd like to buy mine.
In the mine... you find...
- Gold! - Yes!
Foolsgold.
Uh, man!
The scientific name for foolsgold is pyrite.
My turn, come on.
Papa needs a brand new pickaxe!
Are you gonna take care of this mail?
It's been stacked up by the door for weeks.
We get mail? Did you know this?
Get it out of here! Do it or you are fired!
Eileen, dodge ball girl.
Oh, yea-ah! My order from trophy discounter.
- Couple Corral. - What?
You still subscribe to that dating site?
Dude, you are not single.
Ah, yeah, I delete my profile.
Hey, I forgot, all right?
Okay, everybody watch.
Delete profile.
See, it's been deleted, right?
- Are you sure, pardner? - Yes.
- Did you mean to press "No"? - Hold on.
So how long have you two been together?
We've been hanging out for a month now.
Hang out... hanging out?
Sounds pretty casual, guys.
I mean, have you ever been to a nice romantic date?
This is a date.
This is game night, Mordecai.
- I mean a real date. - A real date?
Does that time we had all-you-can-eat crab at seafood sal's count?
- No! - Oh, my gosh.
I'm gonna make a reservation at a nice restaurant.
I'm gonna buy a new outfit.
- Saturday at 7? - Saturday at 7.
Hello. Game night?
Dude, Rigby, you got a second?
I wanna show you what I bought for C.J.
Okay, what did you got?
What is this? What am I looking at?
It's a charm bracelet.
There's a different charm for all the stuff C.J. and I did the first time we met.
There's a little roller skate.
And a grilled cheese, and an air-hockey mallet.
Wow, Mordecai, this is kinda thing the pros get their girlfriends.
Right? I'm just not sure how to give it to her, though.
Here's an ideal.
How about if you say you have something for her,
and then you give it to her.
Classic gift-giving technique, bro.
No, dude, I've gotta do it in some way that's really special.
- What's this? - It looks like...
No, no, I'll tell you.
It's the stack of junk mail I asked you to take care of yesterday.
- But we threw that out. - Really?
You threw this mail that I found not in the trash into the trash.
Wait, this is new junk mail.
And it's all from Couple Corral.
Man, what is it with these guys?
Hey, Benson,
do you have any ideas for a romantic way to give a gift to a girl?
Well, I've always thought it would be nice
to have a waiter serve a gift box in place of dessert.
Look at you, Benson! How are you still single?
Yeah, that idea is genius!
I'm just spitballing here.
Well, thanks for the tip, Benson, I'm gonna go call the restaurant right now.
- So, big dates tonight, huh? - Yeah.
What kind of place are we talking?
Is this an oyster-crackers or a warm-rolls establishment?
I think they might charge extra for bread.
Ooh, romantic.
So what's your hes?
I just not sure it's gonna be enough.
This night has to be amazing, you know?
Maybe I can get a special dessert for Mordecai.
Yeah, what does he like?
Waffles, chocolate...
There's a new pastry shop downtown that specializes in chocolate-covered waffle cakes.
That's perfect.
I'll take him there for dessert to surprise him.
You just gonna make sure not to fill up on bread at dinner.
Could this get any more romantic?
Oh, well, maybe...
You have a call at the front.
To be continued.
Hello?
Matchmaker Mclntyre here, C.E.O. of Couple Corral.
This is not a recording.
Uh, hi.
We noticed earlier you deleted your profile.
So sad to see you go.
We really appreciate your business, so I'm begging you to rejoin.
If you come back to us today, you get free romantic coupons.
To rejoin, say "Yee-haw,"
to cancel, say "Adios."
Adios, adios.
Told you I wasn't recording.
What do you mean adios, pardner?
I don't need Couple Corral anymore.
I'm in a relationship now, so...
Here's what I'm thinking,
break up with C.J.
Excuse me?
Break up with her and rejoin my site.
Couple Corral can help you find somebody better.
Dude, I'm happy with C.J.
Will you be, though, after we dredge through her profile?
Okay, let's see what we dig up here.
Isn't keeping her information, like, really illegal?
You'd think, whoa!
How do you expect her to be committed to you
when this girl can't even commit to a hairstyle?
So? I like C.J.
Now leave me alone.
Hi, L'wafflerie?
I just wanted to check and see if the waffle cake I ordered is ready.
Unbelievable!
C.J. when you deleted your Couple Corral profile,
did its C.E.O. come to you in person and tell you to break up with me?
No.
Let's just enjoy dinner.
Man, that steak was off the hook.
Yeah, this was so good.
Ready for a dessert?
Garçon!
- You know what, let's skip dessert. - What?
I... gotta go to the bathroom, excuse me.
Hey, Mordecai!
Wanna meet a girl that doesn't have to go to the bathroom?
Call me!
Hey, I'll catch up.
Gotta tie my shoe real quick.
- I can wait. - No!
It's better if I have pravicy.
Uh... OK.
- Talk to Rig. - Dude, the dessert plan failed.
What?
I need you to pick up the bracelet at the restaurant
and bring it to the coffe kiosk in the square.
I'm on it.
Sorry about that.
I just wanna try out this new knot.
OK.
Do you mind, acturally, if we cut over to main steet?
Wha... it's just...
I was kinda hoping we could stay on this block.
Really?
But main street is so much more romantic.
Hello? Dry-cleaners, notary publics as far as the eye can see.
This is where us at.
Race you to square!
Huh? No!
Hey, what's up!
Waffle plan's been jacked, I need backup.
Copy that, what do I do?
I need you to pick up the waffle cake and meet me by the big fountain in town square.
I'm on it.
You're pretty fast, Mordecai.
Not fast enough!
I win!
That's not fair, you exercised.
Let me just get a cup of coffee, then I bet I can outrun you.
Face it, dude, you've lost.
Come on, let's go make a wish in the fountain.
You can wish to be faster at running.
Dude!
Okay, here I go.
I wish... for a cute girlfriend who likes me back.
Dump cloudy J.
- Is he watching us? - Let's get out of here.
Ugh, come on, dude, stick to the plan.
- Rigby? - Eileen? What are you doing here?
Are you gonna eat that by yourself?
I'm doing a favor for C.J.
Did you... buy a jewelry?
No, I'm doing a favor for Mordecai.
Wait...
I think we're safe. You want a coffee?
- I'm good, you? - Nah.
- I think I left something at the fountain. - I'm gonna use the bathroom.
- Rigby! - Eileen!
New plan!
Come to the pier by the waterfront.
You can get your present there.
Over and out.
Let's go to the waterfront.
Well, here we are at the waterfront.
Yup, all sorts of surprising romantic stuff happens here.
For me? So that's why you acting all...
And that's why you made all those... excuses.
Tying your shoe.
Going to the bathroom.
- I was calling Rigby. - I was calling Eileen.
I'm sorry this wasn't more romantic.
This is the most romantic ate that I've ever been on.
Really?
Something hit the pier!
Last chance, Mordecai, break up with her.
Dude, what's your deal?
Aren't we the point of your site?
Shouldn't you want us to stay together?
Whoever here knows how to run a website, raise their hand.
Happy couple don't use Corral, lonely people do!
Lonely people lead to subscribers, subscribers lead to more clicks.
More clicks somehow lead to millions of dollars!
Millions of dollars lead to sweet-corporate branded stuff!
See?
My site's too good, there's nobody left.
Happy couples have been leaving in droves.
I'm bankrupt.
Dude, just sell your stuff!
No! My crooked lawyer told me this is the only way.
Break up with her!
No way! We're really into each other.
If you won't break up with her, I'll do it for you.
Let me introduce you to the Couple Corral "Breakupulator"!
Look out!
Mordecai!
Well, darn, that didn't work out like I wanted to do.
C.J.! Rejoin my site?
No!
Leave... us... alone!
Hubris!
Mordecai, Mordecai, Mordecai?
No!
Mordecai? I thought you were died.
I would be... if not for this gift box.
I hope you like it.
There's a different charm for...
Well, there used to be different charms.
I guess they must have all gotten welded into a heart by the bazooka blast.
- I love it. - I thought that you would.
I guess the thing I have for you must've exploded.
That's OK. I've got my wish.
What? That you could run faster than me?
No, for a cute girfriend that likes...
Is this waffles and a cake and chocolate?
Yeah.
I love it!
I thought that you would.